“But I am not the story here in the latest chapter of OzFest, a farce that is averaging two new targets a week and will have another co-star as soon as tonight.” - Jay Mariotti, June 22 2006
Boise - - - Our candidate is greatly concerned over the mental health of White Sox Manager Ozzie Guillen. Taking a page from heroic Mark McGwire during a Congressional Hearing, Presidential candidate (R) “Really” Jay Mariotti advises Guillen to move forward in life and leave last year’s unfortunately titled “Fag Gate” episode in the past where it belongs. After-all, it has been a nearly a year already? Ozzie, please forgive yourself as it so clear that our candidate has long ago pardoned you for a certain slur that has hardly ever been brought up on the back pages of the Chicago Sun-Times. If any other notes of forgiveness from Jay are missing in this little collection of ours, please advise us with the appropriate link.
2006
June 22 - I’m told the Blizzard of Oz, in one of his tiresome rants, referred to me as a “fag” Tuesday night, among other niceties. Personally, I can shrug it off as an occupational hazard, knowing I’m called meaner things at the coffee stand every morning.
June 25 - I keep thinking of a sportswriter who was suspended 30 days, without pay, for a first-case slip of the tongue. I keep thinking of an owner who was banished from baseball, a general manager who was disgraced for life, broadcasters who have lost their jobs. I keep wondering how many other managers and coaches would have been fired for describing someone as “a [bleeping] fag.”
August 3 - He is Ozzie Guillen without the blizzard and the slurs.
August 8 - Guillen’s psyche and temperament have to be kept in check. For a night, he maintained his cool, even referencing his famous sensitivity trainer. “If you talk about the umpires, you’re not going to win,” he said. “I learned something. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it.”
August 14 - The problem should be fixed before it happens to the Sox and inspires another pick-a-name rant by the Blizzard.
August 22 - This isn’t about being a Latino. This is about being a professional, a reasonable human being. Two months after his most infamous slur, Ozzie still doesn’t get it.
August 28 - I was subjected to national attention after Ozzie Guillen, the White Sox manager, referred to me as “a [bleeping] fag” in late June. My mailbag, so to speak, was a hodgepodge of reaction. There was a fair share of hatred, mostly from Sox fans who defended their maligned manager and weren’t sophisticated enough to grasp what Guillen had done wrong. A handful of goofs stooped low and fired homophobic and ethnic slurs.
September 7 - If we’re blaming people already, I’m ticketing both Ken Williams and Guillen — the GM for ignoring his aggressive instincts and obeying his veteran leaders when they said Alfonso Soriano and starting-pitching reinforcements weren’t needed, and the manager for thoroughly wearing us out with his hit list of enemies and relentless babble.
September 19 - This won’t be found in any Elias Sports Bureau statistical package, but on June 20, the night Ozzie Guillen called me “a [bleeping] fag,” the Sox were 45-25. Since then, they are a sloppy 39-41 and looking like they intend to uphold a lame franchise tradition: No back-to-back postseason appearances.
September 26 - And so it ends, pathetically, a season of too much talking and swaggering and slurring and not nearly enough championship class and guts.
November 23 - Blame Manning, who belongs on any Turkeys of the Year ballot. It’s a crowded list that features Zinedine Zidane and his head- butt, Floyd Landis and his denials, the minor-league baseball manager who threw a five-minute tirade, the Detroit Lions assistant coach who drove naked through a fast-food lane, Terrell Owens, Terrell Owens’ 911-happy publicist, Jason Grimsley and his HGH, a second-string college punter charged with stabbing the starting punter and — don’t forget — an Ozzie Guillen meltdown that might be funny now if it wasn’t so homophobic.
December 18 - This year, along with eight Bengals arrests and five flareups in San Diego, you’ve had Pittsburgh’s Joey Porter slipping into Ozzie Guillen-like homophobia and Chargers star Shawne Merriman snared in a steroids suspension.
2007
March 4 - Let me guess what might happen here. I’m going to criticize Ozzie Guillen as a serial defamer, a reckless hypocrite who unfairly questions the late-night habits of departed Brandon McCarthy only months after Guillen ripped the Oakland Athletics for — gotcha, Oz - - not providing beer in the visitors’ clubhouse. The man will fire back at me, maybe with a repulsive slur, and his 70-something owner will pile on by calling me “a piece of garbage” or something dimwitted like that.
March 5 - The only folks concerned about the spending spree are commissioner Bud Selig, who reportedly scolded the Cubs at a winter meeting, and Sox social commentator Ozzie Guillen, who not only manages the ballclub, but also serves as chairman Jerry Reinsdorf’s spokesman on fiscal matters.
April 2 - It goes without saying that Guillen is probably one repulsive slur from losing his job. He’ll be on Blizzard Watch all season with a team that didn’t improve during the winter, thanks to a general manager who has a higher regard for his creation than everyone else on the planet.
April 5 - It might help if Ozzie, Kenny and Jerry would just shut up. All these people do is yap, and by comparison, the women on “The View” are pleasing to the ears. Take Opening Day. Guillen said he should be dismissed if the Sox underachieve, prompting Williams to criticize those who’ve suggested Guillen is on the hot seat. The reason the Blizzard is in perpetual job trouble isn’t necessarily his managing, but his non-stop mouth. What will he say next? Who will he slur next?
April 12 - Reinsdorf also failed to respond responsibly when his manager, Ozzie Guillen, dropped two homophobic slurs in less than a year, preferring to refer to me as “a piece of garbage” after I was targeted for one slur.
April 19 - Let’s hope the Blizzard collects some perspective about what’s truly important in baseball and life. Look, he knows the English language well enough, including all the choice cuss words. Having earned a paycheck in this country for 20-plus years, he gets it more than he ever lets on. He tried to use his supposed language hangups as a crutch last year, claiming that “fag” really meant “coward” in his native Venezuela.
May 15 - No, this is what feels like an organizational crossroads, a moment of truth. Seems the Sox are getting old, boring and run-phobic before our eyes, not a good thing when the South Side identity revolves around fireworks in the sky.
May 18 - You know the madness is here when Ozzie Guillen, unusually subdued until now, morphs back into the Blizzard of Oz. First he says Alex Rodriguez should be signed by Mayor Daley and shared by the Cubs and Sox. Then he puts on a bizarre mask during batting practice and reportedly tells Yankees players it resembles slugger Hideki Matsui, not the brightest thing to do after those sensitivity training classes.
May 19 - And how does Sox chairman Jerry Reinsdorf feel about his manager’s smutmouth — and North’s insensitivity — when the team’s marketing people are trying to woo families to U.S. Cellular Field after years of ugly fan incidents? Last year, Guillen offended gays. This year, he’s violating public decency.
May 21 - And who would save the butts of a potty-mouthed manager, a blame-deflecting general manager and the panicky populace of White Soxdom? Oh, none other than Anthony John Pierzynski, perpetual lightning rod/punching bag/Cubbie killer, who might have averted a weekend of wacky turmoil had Ozzie Guillen simply started him Friday instead of force-feeding a rusty Toby Hall.
May 22 - The manager, Ozzie Guillen, has become a national spectacle again because of his foul mouth and uncontrollable temper, this time calling a radio show and dropping filth bombs on live air.
May 31 - There is more than enough evidence to suggest the Sox don’t respond well to his most publicized episodes, including last season, when they went 37-45 after his various stunts and slurs in the first half.
June 10 - Rather thanThere is more than enough evidence to suggest the Sox don’t respond well to his most publicized episodes, including last season, when they went 37-45 after his various stunts and slurs in the first half. rip a manager, ravage a player or slur a columnist, he dared to take on commissioner Bud Selig’s steroids investigator by suggesting that Latin players are being unfairly targeted in the probe.
